Step 1: I Can Control How The Disease Affects Me And My Relative:
It is important that caregivers realize which aspects of caregiving they can control and acknowledge aspects over which they have no control. Ultimately, no matter what the caregiver does, the disease process will not change. Some caregivers have reported that the following serenity prayer has been helpful to them. It is as follows: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”.
Step 2: I Need To Take Care Of Mvself:
For most caregivers, this is a difficulty lesion, yet they must learn that in order to continue providing care for their family members, they must first take care of themselves. Caregivers need to give themselves permission to “indulge” in such things as obtaining relief by using sources of respite and by involvement in outside activities that they both need and enjoy. Caregivers need to see themselves as important and to acknowledge their abilities and preferences when making decisions.
Step 3: I Need To Simplify My Lifestyle:
It is essential that caregivers be able to identify what is most important, what should be taken care of immediately and what should receive most of the attention. As caregiver responsibilities take up more and more of their daily lives, other activities need to be adapted or dropped. If caregivers wish to maintain outside activities and interests, they will need to lower unrealistic expectations they may have of themselves.
Step 4: I Need To Allow Others To Help Me:
This step can also be very difficult for caregivers who have lived most of their lives thinking they “should” be independent, and for those wrho view asking for help as a sign of weakness. Along with cultivating the gift of allowing others to help, they need to learn how to actively ask other for help. Caregivers are encouraged to keep a list of activities nearby, and when an offer of help is made, the caregiver can readily say, “I need help with…” Presenting others with a variety of specific tasks allows them to volunteer assistance and accommodate their resources.
Step 5: I Need To Take One Day At A Time:
This slogan is commonly used by family caregivers. It reinforces the importance of thinking only about the day’s challenges and helps caregivers to focus their energies on what is most important in the short-term. It also lessens feelings of being overwhelmed when looking ahead to concerns, which may never develop. For the person with dementia, it is essentially the ” here and now” that is significant-a reality to which caregivers must adapt.
Step 6: I Need To Structure My Day:
Because of the memory impairment brought about by the disease, it is important that the caregiver develop a sense of structure, routine and rituals for their family member. In doing so, the care-receiver feels more of a sense of safety and security and caregivers can use their time and energy more efficiently.
Step 7: 1 Need To Have A Sense Of Humor:
Caregivers have often reported that a sense of humor helps them through a difficult situation. Once said, “I choose to make this a humorous heartache.” Maintaining a sense of humor means that caregivers have to be objective enough to see the irony in painful situations.
Step 8: I need To Remember That Mv Relative’s Behavior And Emotions Are Distorted Bv The Illness:
While caregivers generally understand dementia as a disease process, they are also more likely to take it personally and feel that the person is being “difficult” when disruptive behaviors occur. It is important to keep an objective viewpoint about experiences and to be able to attribute to die disease what rightfully belongs to the disease, and not simply to the relationship.
Step 9: I Need To Focus On and Eniov What Mv Relatives Can Still Do:
Caregivers have frequently reported that what helps them through the process of caregiving is to be able to see who their relative “is” in the present, as well as appreciate who this person “was” in the past. Enjoying the good moments for what they provide is commonly seen by caregivers as a way of helping themselves through their present difficulties. Focusing on what die person can still do also maintains independence.
Step 10:1 Need To Depend On Other Relationships For Love And Support:
As the dementia progresses, caregivers must increasingly look to other family members and friends for the love and support that the impaired family member once provided. Caregivers need to understand that a desire to be cared about and supported by others is a normal human response, and that it is essential to have these needs met in some way.
Step 11:1 Need To Remind Mvself That I Am Dong The Best I Can At This Very Moment:
Caregivers must realize that they will not handle every situation “perfectly’ and that at times they will become impatient and angry with the patient. It is important for caregivers to acknowledge their human limitations, develop a sense of acceptance of themselves, and accept how they have managed a particular situation.
Step 12: A Higher Power Is Available To Me:
Many caregivers report that their sense of a higher spiritual power has assisted them through many difficult situations, and that this same power has been what has helped mem to find meaning through their caregiving experiences.
Step 1: I Can Control How The Disease Affects Me And My Relative:
It is important that caregivers realize which aspects of caregiving they can control and acknowledge aspects over which they have no control. Ultimately, no matter what the caregiver does, the disease process will not change. Some caregivers have reported that the following serenity prayer has been helpful to them. It is as follows: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”.
Step 2: I Need To Take Care Of Mvself:
For most caregivers, this is a difficulty lesion, yet they must learn that in order to continue providing care for their family members, they must first take care of themselves. Caregivers need to give themselves permission to “indulge” in such things as obtaining relief by using sources of respite and by involvement in outside activities that they both need and enjoy. Caregivers need to see themselves as important and to acknowledge their abilities and preferences when making decisions.
Step 3: I Need To Simplify My Lifestyle:
It is essential that caregivers be able to identify what is most important, what should be taken care of immediately and what should receive most of the attention. As caregiver responsibilities take up more and more of their daily lives, other activities need to be adapted or dropped. If caregivers wish to maintain outside activities and interests, they will need to lower unrealistic expectations they may have of themselves.
Step 4: I Need To Allow Others To Help Me:
This step can also be very difficult for caregivers who have lived most of their lives thinking they “should” be independent, and for those wrho view asking for help as a sign of weakness. Along with cultivating the gift of allowing others to help, they need to learn how to actively ask other for help. Caregivers are encouraged to keep a list of activities nearby, and when an offer of help is made, the caregiver can readily say, “I need help with…” Presenting others with a variety of specific tasks allows them to volunteer assistance and accommodate their resources.
Step 5: I Need To Take One Dav At A Time:
This slogan is commonly used by family caregivers. It reinforces the importance of thinking only about the day’s challenges and helps caregivers to focus their energies on what is most important in the short-term. It also lessens feelings of being overwhelmed when looking ahead to concerns, which may never develop. For the person with dementia, it is essentially the ” here and now” that is significant-a reality to which caregivers must adapt.
Step 6: I Need To Structure My Dav:
Because of the memory impairment brought about by the disease, it is important that the caregiver develop a sense of structure, routine and rituals for their family member. In doing so, the care-receiver feels more of a sense of safety and security and caregivers can use their time and energy more efficiently.
‘ Step 7: 1 Need To Have A Sense Of Humor:
Caregivers have often reported that a sense of humor helps them through a difficult situation. Once said, “I choose to make this a humorous heartache.” Maintaining a sense of humor means that caregivers have to be objective enough to see the irony in painful situations.
Step 8: I need To Remember That Mv Relative’s Behavior And Emotions Are Distorted Bv The Illness:
While caregivers generally understand dementia as a disease process, they are also more likely to take it personally and feel that the person is being “difficult” when disruptive behaviors occur. It is important to keep an objective viewpoint about experiences and to be able to attribute to die disease what rightfully belongs to the disease, and not simply to the relationship.
Step 9: I Need To Focus On and Eniov What Mv Relatives Can Still Do:
Caregivers have frequently reported that what helps them through the process of caregiving is to be able to see who their relative “is” in the present, as well as appreciate who this person “was” in the past. Enjoying the good moments for what they provide is commonly seen by caregivers as a way of helping themselves through their present difficulties. Focusing on what die person can still do also maintains independence.
Step 10:1 Need To Depend On Other Relationships For Love And Support:
As the dementia progresses, caregivers must increasingly look to other family members and friends for the love and support that the impaired family member once provided. Caregivers need to understand that a desire to be cared about and supported by others is a normal human response, and that it is essential to have these needs met in some way.
Step 11:1 Need To Remind Mvself That I Am Dong The Best I Can At This Very Moment:
Caregivers must realize that they will not handle every situation “perfectly’ and that at times they will become impatient and angry with the patient. It is important for caregivers to acknowledge their human limitations, develop a sense of acceptance of themselves, and accept how they have managed a particular situation.
Step 12: A Higher Power Is Available To Me:
Many caregivers report that their sense of a higher spiritual power has assisted them through many difficult situations, and that this same power has been what has helped mem to find meaning through their caregiving experiences.